Rob's List on Which he Worked Really,Really Hard for at Least an Hour after Realizing That the Blog Wouldn't go Anywhere Unless He Added to it.

I received this list thingy on Facebook the other day. Something about 25 things about yourself that people don't know. I thought to myself "Everybody wants to know!" And everything on this list will be true. With creative language of course.

1. I was born in the mythical city of Saskatoon, Saskactawan.

2. For the longest time I believed Jesus died young due to Christmas and Easter being so close together.

3. I spent my youth in arctic, tropical, and temperate zones, and at one point I lived in them all within a year.

4. I've been to Mexico three times, twice on purpose.

5. I've slept through the wee hours in Central Park. The real one.

6. I've laughed in the face of Danger. Literally.

7. I learned through experience that running through restricted areas of the Federal Reserve with a video camera is bad.

8. I secretly enjoy interpretative dance

9. I flew over a volcano, later it exploded. (Due to my awesomeness most likely.)

10. My favorite fish are tacos.

11. Heads of state have personally thanked me for things I've done. (I can't get into any details..)

12. I believe motion sickness to be contagious.

13. I'll eat cheese on almost anything. (I throw almost in there knowing that if I don't somebody will call me on it. "Try cheese and...yak brains!"

14. Black is not actually a color. This isn't about me but it's gotta be said.

15. I have an extremely evil laugh.

16. My two favorite drinks are chocolate milk, and grapefruit juice. Not together though.

17. I once played Frisbee with a tornado. On the way.

18. I once had a rabbit that enjoyed the taste of live deer.

18. I once sang an entire song on the subject of popsicles.

19. If you get kissed by That Girl You Like and you tell The Guys because you're 13 and you think it's awesome but it wasn't That Girl You Like that kissed you at all, it was Her Twin Sister whom it is impossible to tell apart and The Guys question That Girl You Like to see if it is true and it's not and so That Girl You Like is mad at you for telling The Guys she kissed you and Her Twin Sister is mad at you for liking her sister instead of her and The Guys are laughing at you until spittle flies from their faces like cherry-bombed toilets and this is was is known as a Really Bad Day When Being Buried Alive Doesn't Sound So Horrible.

20. I'm allergic to cats. But I like them.

21. Lighting has struck in my general vicinity at least seven times that I know of. I'm beginning to think Zeus hates me and is just a really bad shot.

22. While walking through the park one summer's night I was beset by a gang of dogs running wild. I drove them off but not before they hit me in the face and forced me to swallow my own teeth.

23. I once read 'War and Peace'. Yes, the whole thing.

24. Once when I was a kid I daydreamed that I was the king of a country in medieval times and ruled Europe. Then I gave them a very fantasy-sounding name, I called them the Avars. Later on I found the Avars really existed which proves conclusively that one day I will build a time machine, go back in time, and rule the world.

25. One of these facts are a lie. Yes, I know at the top I said they were all true but it's really hard to think of things. I mean I could write things like "I enjoy peas" but, come on, who would believe that.

So there it is. Mad props to the first person who can pick out the lie. It is, of course, clearly concealed in a cloak of cleverness. Also I have many people to thank for this list being awesome. I hope to see you all again someday. You owe my therapist money.