Everything you Wanted to Know About Women

Long long ago, nearly back to when I got up this morning, Matthew came over. And after talking about many things like hello, and this is my house, we decided to compile our complete knowledge of women into a single blog post. We can do this because we are very succinct. Also, we don't know much.

This is it.

1. Rob was once engaged. To a women.

2. Matthew is dating a girl. We didn't make it up this time. She smells like peaches. Apparently.

3. We wear suits constantly. It helps.

4. Suits are uncomfortable in the shower.

5. But not Matthew's handmade shower suit.

6. What is a shower suit? Further research required

7. We are off-topic.

8. Below is a step-by-step example of a conversation one might have with a women.

           Scene 1 - A public place. Enter an attractive women. 

Rob: Hi. I am Famous Rob. Have you heard of me?

Women: No.

          Scene 2 - A public place. Enter another attractive women. 

Rob: Hi. I am Famous Rob. Have you heard of me?

Women: Yes

Rob: Would you like to a casual dinner atop the Empire State Building in New York City with violins and fresh fruit followed by the performance of a song I wrote for you by choir of orphans I saved from a volcano?

Women: OK

Rob: How about just dinner?

          Scene 45 - A public beach. Sand is between my toe tips.

Rob: I now pronounce us man and wife.

Rob's very attractive now-wife: Can you do that?

Rob: Since I finished this online course I can!

R.V.A.N.W: What an incredible man I just inadvertently married! We must have millions of babies!

9. This works every time.

10. Matthew's method employs tear gas.

11. I didn't make that up. Really.

12. It was barely on purpose! It was only that one time!

13. Whatever

14. 9 is a lie. 

So there you have it. This should make sure that women fall in love with you or a least avoid you in the supermarket. We have several of success stories. Literally several.